Here’s a little chat on the topic of shame. If you swipe, you’ll see a random lady messaged and said “the shame that rests on your words who are affected by incurable STI’s hurts my heart”. Initially I interpreted her DM that I should be ashamed of myself for posting that. Then it dawned on me that she feels bad for people living with shame due to STI’s. (This was in response to me replying to some strange soliciting me for sex in my DMs when I said “I have herpes”.) Here’s the thing; Shame is a wasted emotion. Now- if you took two 🐱s and drowned them in a video, that’s pretty goddamn shameful. If you’re an alcoholic like me, who when untreated had more unprotected sex post assault than I care to think about (and it’s miraculous my vagina hasn’t fallen off prior to me getting sober over a decade ago), that could be considered shameful. Or the number of times I drove in a blackout on a daily basis and easily could have killed someone, further risking cop’s lives, that could be considered shameful. However- there’s an easier way to adulting and it goes a lil sumthin like this:
1. Admit you screwed up
3. Do your best to not repeat and fix damage. 4. Forgive yourself FFS.
5. Grow and become a better person.
When it comes to “shame” and “heart hurting”, ask yourself if you’re perpetuating the stigma? Also, what assumptions are you making? If we all own our shit- there’s no need to be ashamed. I’m an addict, alcoholic, have herpes on my face as we speak, have slept with more people than I can count, and have done some HORRIFIC damage to others in my using days, but I’ve taken ownership and cleaned house.
By you feeling offended or casting shame upon others, what are you accomplishing when it comes to stigmas?
Also mad respect for the people in blue. Yes, a handful of you suck. But most of you fkn rock and risk your life daily keeping drunks and drug addicts off the road like myself. So if you’re feeling ashamed because you have herpes, HIV, or whatever other STI you can think of, step into your power and don’t be a victim. Even for those who had it forced upon you- the health conditions of your body and mind, do not define you.